Get out of your own way! — Whiteboard Walks

I’ve succeeded and failed many times in my career, and if all goes well, I will continue to do so and learn every single time. But what I had to learn along the way is that not trying is the biggest failure of all.

Growth only comes when you stretch yourself, often that means overcoming hurdles that seem impossible.

Someone looking at a pile of boulders wondering how they'll get past it

While the world will put up its share of roadblocks, the biggest ones don’t come from the outside. They come from within.

Zoom out picture, showing that it's actually you in a dumptruck putting boulders in front of yourself

If you’re able to get out of your own way, the path ahead is much smoother.

What’s in your way?

Once you realize that you may be the barrier, the hurdles become easier to spot. The tricky part is removing them because deep down you feel they belong.

To stop them from cropping up you need to go to the source.

You, asking yourself in the dump truck where they're getting all the rocks.

Your belief in yourself is built around a series of inputs and outputs. When I work in any capacity and there are self-inflicted roadblocks, with a team, as a leader, or as a mentor, I like to focus on 2 inputs and 2 outputs.

We’ll start with the inputs.

A person with a cloud around them, representing information

The information you consume provides the raw material from which to construct your limitations.

Your self-worth is a relative measure, and your yardstick is everything you see.

A great example? Social media of course. Doomscrolling on Instagram is not a healthy information diet.

The second most influential input is the people you choose to surround you.

Their views will inevitably merge with yours and create another source of self-doubt.

Even the most healthy, positive relationships can put you in a box.

The unhealthy ones will make that box feel small.

While those are external inputs, they are undoubtedly in your control. They’re tangible and with conscious thought they can be identified and managed.

So, let’s talk about the unconscious ones.

A person with their brain highlighted and the word stories called out

Your mind is always racing, and we tend to be asleep at the wheel.

The stories we meditate on create an internal narrative that can constrain us.

We tend to focus on the losses; the missteps and embarrassing moments are seared into our memory and replayed constantly.

A person, with a speech bubble and the word language called out

Sometimes we undermine ourselves by the unconscious word choices we select.

We constantly apologize, ask permission, and clothe our statements in an anticipated failure that reinforces our self-doubt.

After enough time, these ‘cants’ become such a well-worn path that our mind assumes them to be true.

These inputs and outputs create a reinforcement loop that makes it even easier to get in our own way.

So how do we get out of our own way?

Once your eyes are open to what is really in your way, you’re able to do something about it.

In my experience, there are 3 steps you need to take to get out of your own way.

Consciously take note of the inputs (information, people) you consume and the outputs (stories, language) you focus on. Track and change your habits to bring yourself out of a negative reinforcement loop.

When you feel yourself putting up roadblocks, ask what is the worst that could happen? If you can re-orient your mindset from ‘failure’ to ‘learning opportunity’ you’ll start to see downside risk in a different light.

Even the most confident among us will shy away from a goal that feels too big. Break down seemingly impossible goals into smaller wins and allow the small victories to build you up.

If you’re able to turn your biggest potential roadblock into your biggest cheerleader, you’ll shift from wondering what’s possible, to what you should try first.