The 5 ways to say no (that won’t hurt your career)

The ability to say ‘no’ to additional work is one of the most underrated forms of corporate Jiu Jitsu there is out there.

On both the client side and within my firm, I have seen people’s careers accelerated and decelerated based on the approach they take to saying ‘no’ when their plate is already too full. This is not an exaggeration. I have literally seen this:

A podium where the first place says ‘no’ proudly.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating that you should make a habit of saying ‘no’. To be a successful leader in any business, your default response should be set to ‘yes and…’. If your bias leans to ‘no because…’ your career trajectory will be slower, and likely hit a ceiling around middle management.

However, there are certainly times when saying ‘no’ is the right response for everybody involved. Doing so in the right way is an artform, and a tricky maneuver to pull off gracefully.

In the client service business, I get to see this move practiced from every angle, and what follows are the top 5 ways to say ‘no’ that will help you earn the respect and trust of your colleagues.

#1: The ‘Help Me Prioritize’

This one works best when both parties share the same organizational objectives, but if it fits your context it is by far the strongest performer.

The challenge with any net new ask is completing it requires you to reprioritize. In general, you should say ‘no’, when the new ask doesn’t outrank any of your existing priorities. If both parties would rank your priorities in a similar order, then the answer is simple: openly share your existing priorities.

A person needs help with prioritizing goals with an accountable person by deprioritize other tasks.

The secret to this technique is that the individual asking for your help will realize their task is a lower priority and retract their ask; or, they will help you reprioritize your existing list and free up time for you to help on the new task. If the ask is coming from someone more senior, it’s also a great chance to confirm that where you are spending your time is in line with their objectives.

I like this technique so much that I use it when I make new asks of my team. For the most part, I know what they are already working on, and along with the new ask, I’ll tell them exactly what I want them to deprioritize in order to free up time for the new request. This ensures that both our objectives are aligned, and I’m not making unreasonable asks of their time.

#2: The ‘Post-Dated Cheque’

This technique works quite well if the ask isn’t time sensitive.

The trick is to say yes, but to anchor the delivery date to a time that makes sense based on your workload. Similar to the ‘help me prioritize’ technique, this technique signals that you are a team player, but that you have conflicting priorities that will prevent you from delivering the output until a later date.

Person A is on fire and needs help taking it out, but Person B deprioritize this task for next Friday.

If the matter is time sensitive, this puts you into a negotiation where you can work with the other person to clear things from your plate and move the delivery date up. If the matter is not time sensitive, you will have successfully pushed the ask off until a later date when you’ll be in a position to deliver quality work you can stand behind.

The added benefit of this technique is it acts as a reality check. In the business world, everything feels like it’s due yesterday, even when there is no real urgency. By challenging that urgency, you may alleviate the unsubstantiated pressure that has been applied to the situation.

#3: The ‘Phone a Friend’

This technique works best if you’re part of a team, and you know that your colleagues have a lighter, or more easily reprioritized, workload. It’s especially helpful if you know the matter is time sensitive, and using the other techniques will make it seem as if you don’t appreciate the urgency of the situation

With the ‘Phone a Friend’ strategy, you actually say ‘no’ to personally doing the work, but ‘yes’ to ensuring that the work gets done by outsourcing it to another. The key is you take accountability to find that supporting resource, so that you are still accomplishing the meta-objective of the person with the ask – finding someone to do the work.

Person A asks B to finish a project by Monday, Person B introduces Person C, who is able to finish the task by Monday.

All that matters is that the work gets done. You are doing your part to ensure that happens by finding another resource to help.

This technique does have some risk to it. If you aren’t practicing reciprocity and you are constantly passing work off onto your colleagues, this will inevitably hurt your career. If you only do this occasionally, and equally help your colleagues out, it can be a great demonstration of being a team player.

#4: The ‘Switcheroo’

This technique works well if the person making the ask can help you cross things off your to-do list.

It is very similar to the ‘Help Me Prioritize’ technique in that it makes clear your existing priorities. Rather than wedging a new ask into the existing list, the ‘Switcheroo’ lets you trade an item on your list for the new ask. This way, you can free up your time to help, while not shirking your existing responsibilities.

Person A asks to finish Person B a report within the hour, but Person B needs someone to walk his dog.

This exchange can work well in a time crunch and is especially beneficial if you have complementary skill sets that the other person can benefit from.

This technique also has risks attached to it. If you don’t have a strong and collaborative relationship with the other party, it can come off as unsupportive or self-centered.

#5: The ‘Running Start’

This technique works well if you are uniquely qualified for the ask, but don’t have the time to accomplish it in full.

The objective here is to decline the assignment but offer up a few hours of your time and expertise to help the team think through their approach or review their output.

Person A asks Person B to make a cake, Person B says Katie’s birthday is on October 3rd.

This allows the other party to tap into your unique skillset while you still protect the majority of your time for your immediate priorities.

This technique works best when the ask is conceptual or strategic in nature as the hardest part of these efforts is framing the approach or interpreting the output.

Those are the top 5 techniques that I’ve seen; I will re-iterate to use them sparingly and tread carefully, as success comes down to delivery.

Have you seen any techniques that work even better? I’d love to hear about them in the comments.

Enjoyed the article? Share it with your network!

Featured